Monkey in a Pink Canoe Allen Smith 9780989540650 Books
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Popular author and humor essayist, Allen Smith has done it again. He's managed to skewer everything that's sacred including sex, political correctness and even religion in his new book, Monkey in a Pink Canoe. Comprised of a collection of his most popular columns and blog posts from the past two years, Monkey in a Pink Canoe is the antidote to sanity. Smith pokes fun at subjects like explaining the birds and the bees to a 6-year-old (Monkey in a Pink Canoe) using street slang like, “paddling the pink” and “bald headed yogurt slinger,” while annihilating the way new parents saddle their children with embarrassing monikers such as Bronx Mowgli, Moxie CrimeFighter and Banana Howdy. Everything is fair game in Monkey in a Pink Canoe. From the author's personal challenges of learning how to feed himself (Betty Crocker Means Good Nutrition) to trying to make the best of things while your life collapses around you (With Rentals Like These, Who Needs Friends?). Some of the essays describe our common struggles as growing children learning how to smoke cigarettes (Smoke 'em if Ya Got 'em,) and lusting after our first buzz from alcohol (Alcohol of Fame). Others describe what happens later in life as we wrestle with the aging process (I'll Never Forget the Time I Remembered, A Little Baggage Never Hurt Anyone) and (I Don't Feel as Good as I Look). Even religion (Stranded in Purgatory and Reincarnation Gone Cluck) fails to escape a direct assault by describing what it's like to spend near-eternity with Hitler, Bin Laden and Tonya Harding or a reincarnated chicken on his way to a mid-west KFC. Monkey in a Pink Canoe is the perfect antidote to real life. The essays are short, entertaining and the ideal vacation from a busy life. Once you read this book, you'll never look at life the same way again!
Monkey in a Pink Canoe Allen Smith 9780989540650 Books
I received a copy of Monkey in a Pink Canoe by Allen Smith for free through Goodreads First Reads.Monkey in a Pink Canoe is a non-fiction book of short stories. I wasn’t exactly sure of what this book of short stories would entail so I approached it with an open mind. It is a light read. I found some of the stories funny and were just okay. It is sometimes to look at things from someone else’s point of view or to hear their situational stories. That is exactly what you get from this book. I liked the book. I didn’t think it was anything extraordinary, but if you read it without expecting it to be something it isn’t then it is a pretty good collection.
I rated this book 3 stars. I would recommend it as a non-fiction humorous book.
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Monkey in a Pink Canoe Allen Smith 9780989540650 Books Reviews
Wouldn't want to go out on a limb for posterity but after reading MONKEY IN A PINK CANOE it seems Allen Smith is the funniest most insightful man around. This hilariously entertaining (and at times far too relevant to be embarrassing) book is a collection of author/humorist Allen Smith's columns and blogs that hit on about every topic we thought we either knew or had explored completely or ignored for lack of interest and what he does with these everyday experiences is stew them into a soup that bubbles all the way down (or is that up? or out?). Bio wise, the book states the following `Allen Smith is an award-winning writer living in Vail, Colorado. He has been featured on NBC, ABC TV's The View, KYSL Radio 93, The Denver Post, The Funny Times, The Writer Magazine, The Vail Daily and The Tahoe Daily Tribune. His first book, `Ski Instructors Confidential The Stories Ski Instructors Swap Back at the Lodge', was published in 2005 and continues to sell around the world. His second book, `Watching Grandma Circle the Drain', was released in August, 2011. Even the titles of each of his 'stories' are good for a chuckle The $84 Windpipe, I'll Never Forget the Time I Remembered, A Prescription for Struggle, Bank Robbery Made Easy, Don Ho Versus the Norwegians, New Horizons in Weight Control, A Little Baggage Never Hurt Anyone, Better Living through Drug Addiction, Alcohol Of Fame, Dealin' Delbert's Fine Used Babies, Feng Shui-ing My Chakras, Great Moments in Digital History, Betty Crocker Means Good Nutrition, Space-Aged, High-Capacity Sports Bras, The Benefits of Benefits, Those Good Old Time Diseases,. The Taco-Slinging Road-Kill Handler Interview with a Felon, Reincarnation Gone Cluck, The Games People Play, Become a Breast Surgeon--Online!, Employment is a Full-Time Job, You Can't Compete with a Serial Killer After I'm Dead and more and more. But to get a flavor of a few, taste these morsels
UNIFORMS ARE RANK (after discussing his entry into the military Smith proposes the following uses in civilian life `To help everyone understand your background and expertise, you'd probably wear an insignia on your shoulder stay at home moms would sport a picture of a station wagon crammed with screaming kids. People in the world of finance would display a broken dollar sign. Teachers would wear a bullwhip and hookers might flaunt a used condom. The richest and most significant people in the country like Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Christy Walton would naturally wear gold shoulder boards and epaulettes with bullion fringe. People with management jobs would wear gold braided Citation Shoulder Cords and have the freedom to choose whatever headgear they wished from berets to campaign hats (known to many as "Smokey the Bear" hats), Jäger corps, Glengarry, Coonskin, Bearskin, Russian Military, Bicorne hats or a Pope's Mitre. For special occasions, it's likely everyone--from the lowliest enlisted man to the highest Admiral--would cast away their work uniforms for their dress attire that included white leggings, red sashes worn diagonally across the chest and possibly a Fez or Turban. Oh, and a sword.'
BETTER LIVING THROUGH DRUG ADDICTION
`I'm hopelessly addicted to drugs. You name a pill, syrup, lotion, cream, antacid, vitamin, tranquilizer, hormone, douche or suppository and I've not only taken it, but I've abused it, largely because I have an addictive personality. Anything worth taking is worth taking a lot. In all fairness, I can't assume the blame for my wayward behavior. It began the day I popped out of my mother's womb when the pediatric nurses started basting me with petroleum jelly and baby lotion like I was a Thanksgiving turkey. In those days, babies were always covered with something. Pediatricians were convinced by the drug companies that it was dangerous for a baby's skin to come in direct contact with the air or sunlight without a protective layer of gook. Then came the decongestant drops and saline nasal sprays they shot up my nose, which would come in handy years later when I got addicted to cocaine. Etc'
MONKEY IN A PINK CANOE
"Where did I come from?" asked Shadrach as we pulled up to his football game at Fleigenbaum Field. Having never been married, I thought I'd be exempt from ever having this discussion with a 6-year-old quarterback, so I never put much thought into what I'd say if asked. Looks like I was going to have to punt. "Well, Shadrach, each month, in one of your mommy's two ovaries, a few immature eggs develop into follicles. The mature follicle releases an egg during ovulation, which turns into the corpus luteum. Progesterone prepares the endometrium in anticipation of the embryo. Then, your daddy's sperm travels up the fallopian tube where it fertilizes your mommy's egg, mixing her X chromosomes with his Y chromosomes to create a zygote and blastocyst. Thanks to Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin, nine months later you were born!" "I just meant what town was I born in?" said Shadrach. "Meshach said it was Toledo, but Abednego thinks it was Cleveland." Etc'
Buy this book and keep it close by after you've been petrified by the newspaper reports of the global condition each morning. It'll help that, too. Allen Smith is hilarious. Let him in before he scoots off to your neighbors. Grady Harp, April 14
I was asked to read this humorous look at life and found it to be an entertaining read.
To many, there are subjects where they would think, yes I get it...been there! It certainty holds no punches but seeps under the skin of reality - with a laugh.
Something to make you smile and think.
Monkey in a Pink Canoe is a collection of stories that takes an irreverent look at life. From sex to politics to good nutrition, this book covers it all. Some of my favorites were Sizzling Russian Bride, Betty Crocker Means Good Nutrition, Interview with a Felon, and Stranded in Purgatory. A lot of the humor is a bit off-color, so this book isn't for everybody. Those looking for something a little bit different to break up the monotony of life, or those who enjoy standup comedy routines will enjoy reading this book.
Rarely.
Allen Smith has been taking the back roads to story-telling for a lot of years. His latest book is no different. What do you do risk in reading "Monkey in a Pink Canoe" is discovering an author that writes like you think and, that of course, would mean there are two of you out there!!
Allen goes through life, makes note of a funny idea or concept and the, when he has enough to fill the spaces, takes us on another journey through his mind. His style isn't for everyone, but if you liked "Watching Grandma Circle the Drain", you'll love "Monkey in a Pink Canoe!"
I received a copy of Monkey in a Pink Canoe by Allen Smith for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Monkey in a Pink Canoe is a non-fiction book of short stories. I wasn’t exactly sure of what this book of short stories would entail so I approached it with an open mind. It is a light read. I found some of the stories funny and were just okay. It is sometimes to look at things from someone else’s point of view or to hear their situational stories. That is exactly what you get from this book. I liked the book. I didn’t think it was anything extraordinary, but if you read it without expecting it to be something it isn’t then it is a pretty good collection.
I rated this book 3 stars. I would recommend it as a non-fiction humorous book.
This review, or links to this review, may also be found on my profile pages as follows
Goodreads https//www.goodreads.com/user/show/28942609-christina
http//www./gp/profile/A3RJL9VH4Z2PYU
Pintrest http//www.pinterest.com/baltimore333/
Twitter https//twitter.com/chb548s
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